


History

by Madcaprecap



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage, Pregnancy, Trans Male Character, Trans!Matt Murdock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 06:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madcaprecap/pseuds/Madcaprecap
Summary: Matt never thought he’d see her again. But then one day a woman walks into Nelson & Murdock, and Matt just knows that she’s his daughter.





	History

 

* * *

         Matt was in his office, going over some old case files, when he first heard her. It was a Friday, end of the day, and he could hear Foggy getting ready to go in his office. The woman, who just walked in, cleared her throat, and Karen looked up at her. 

          “Hi! Welcome to Nelson & Murdock. How can I help you?” Karen said. The woman pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket and showed it to Karen.

           “I, um, saw that you all were looking for someone to help around the office, and I’m going to NYU, and I thought it’d be worth a shot to apply for the job because you all seem nice and I could really use the cash,” she said. Matt smiled. So she was smart, got into a good school. He felt proud, maybe, but that didn’t seem like the right word. Relieved, perhaps?

           “Oh, ok. So what’s your name?” Karen asked. Under his breath, Matt whispered her name, Jackie.

           “Jackie Austen.”

           “Do you have any work experience, Jackie?” She shook her head. Well she only turned eighteen two weeks ago, Matt thought, it’s not that surprising. 

           Foggy walked out of his office and leaned against his doorframe.

           “Karen, who’s this?”

           “This is Jackie, she’s applying for that job we put in the paper.”

           “Really? Someone actually responded?” Karen nodded. Matt realized he’d lost his place in the reading. Before he knew it, there was a knock on his door.

           “Come in,” he called. Jackie slowly walked in, closing the door behind her. She was so much like Matt, he realized, in the way she’s held herself, walked, breathed. And yet she was also like him just a little bit.

           “Murdock?”

           “That’s me,” he said.

           “My name’s Jackie, and I’m applying for the position here,” she began, but Matt cut her off.

           “I already heard everything.”

           “Oh, okay. So are you the only Murdock here? You’re not filling in for anyone, right?”

           “Nope, it’s just me. Is that okay?”

           “Well, it’s just that I thought you would be someone else. I heard them say Matt, and I thought they’d misspoken or something, or that maybe you were her bother?”

            “What did you think I was going to be like?” Matt whispered. 

            “I thought you were going to be a woman. And older, maybe? I mean, how old are you?”

            “Thirty tomorrow.” Matt let Jackie sit there for a moment, fidgeting in her seat. “You’re looking for your birth mother, right? Mary Murdock? Put you up for adoption in 2000?”

             “Yes! Do you know her?”

             “Jackie, I used to be known as Mary.”

             “So you’re my,” before she could finish, Matt interrupted her again.

             “Yes, yes I am.”

             “I can’t believe I finally found you.” She got up and crushed him in a hug. Matt just let her do it, knew she needed it. He didn’t enjoy it though. He’d never been one for physical contact.

            “Please don’t think that we’re going to reconcile and suddenly have the greatest father-daughter bond. However, if you want a job here, I’ll put in a good word for you. Just don’t think this is some reason to get your hopes up, okay?”

             “Of course, of course.” Matt went back to reading as she walked out the door. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought she was smiling. As she left, he let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding in. And if, when he went out as Daredevil that night, he was a little more cruel, well nobody had to know, did they?

 

* * *

 

        Karen and Foggy took Matt to Josie’s that night to, in Foggy’s word, “celebrate the fact that you can no longer call yourself a useless twenty-something.” They had a few beers (well, maybe more than a few), and before they knew it they were back in Matt’s apartment. 

         Foggy was already fast asleep on Matt’s bed, where he’d been snoring for the past hour. Karen and Matt were still on Matt’s sofa though, a beer in each of their hands. 

         “Hey, Matt, you should really decorate your apartment. It’s so sad in here.”

         “Why? It’s not like I can see it. I’m blind,” he laughed. 

         “But I can. And it’s sad.”

         “Fine.” He took a sip of his beer. “Hey, Karen?”

         “Yeah?”

         “Never have kids,” he said.

         “What?” 

         “Adopt or whatever, but never get pregnant. It’s so much worse than everyone says. And what do you get out of it? Some gross baby. Not worth it at all.”

          “What are you talking about, Matt?”

          “Giving birth is the worst thing ever. I hated it. So much.”

          “Whatever, Matt, I’m going to sleep.”

          “Please,” he begged, his eyes watering. Karen had never seen him get this close to crying in all the time she’d known him. “Just promise me you’ll listen to me.”

           “Okay Matt, I’ll listen to you.”

           “Thank you, Karen.”

           “No problem, Matt.”

* * *

 

         “Hey,” Jackie said as she walked into Matt’s office, “Karen’s worried about you. She says you haven’t left in two days.”

         “Probably haven’t.”

         “I, uh, brought you a sandwich from that deli down the street. Foggy said you liked it.” 

          “Put it on my desk,” he said. Jackie had been working at Nelson & Murdock for nearly a month, and they’d never spoken for more than a minute or two. After she put down the paper bag, Jackie lingered by the door.

          “You didn’t leave, did you?” Matt asked. 

          “No.” 

          “So you want to talk, don’t you?”

          “Yeah,” she whispered. Matt sighed. He knew this would happen sooner or later.

          “Just ask me whatever you want. Just rip of the band-aid I guess.”

          “Ok,” she muttered, “ok. So, um, well now I don’t know where to begin.”

          “Just ask anything, please.”

          “Why did you give me up?”

          “Jackie, please,” Matt huffed, “I was eleven. What did you expect me to do?”

           “Of course, I’m sorry,” Jackie said. 

           “Don’t be. I understand. You know, I was at an orphanage after my father died. St. Agnes. I was there when you were born. The nuns, they thought they could keep you there, but I kicked and screamed until they took you away.”

           “Did you ever try to find me?”

           “Once or twice, sure,” he said. “Do you want to ask anything else?”

           “Yeah, um, my father. Well, my other father, what was he like?”

           “Jackie. I was eleven when you were born. Do you really want to know that story?”

            “No, I guess not,” she said. 

            “Good. Now, I have to get back to work.” Jackie left his office, closing the door behind her.

* * *

 

         “Karen, do you think Matt’s been acting weird lately?” Foggy asked as he poured a (truly foul) cup of Karen’s coffee for himself.

         “It depends. Why are you asking?”

         “It’s just that ever since we hired Jackie he’s been distant, like he doesn’t want to be here,” Foggy said.

          “Yeah, he does seem off. I mean, the day after Jackie showed up, his birthday, we were talking after you went to sleep. And suddenly he tells me I should never have kids because birth is horrible. Completely out of the blue. He’s a man! Though to be fair, he was quite drunk.”

          “Uh huh.” Foggy stirred his coffee. “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

* * *

         “Hey buddy,” Foggy said, knocking on Matt’s door. When he didn’t get a response he left himself in. He looked around Matt’s apartment for a minute before he found Matt curled in a ball on his rug. His cane had been thrown to the side, and, as Foggy rushed over to make sure he was okay, he realized that Matt had tears running down his cheeks.

         “Matt! Oh my god, are you okay?” Matt nodded. “What happened?”

         “We went to MoMA today,” he sniffled.

         “Who?”

         “Me and Jackie.”

         “What’s wrong with that?” Foggy asked. He’d sat down on the rug a few feet from Matt so that he didn’t intrude in his personal space.

          “She’s just so smart, and successful, and funny. I thought I would have messed her up, Foggy, I thought that he would have messed her up,” Matt sobbed. 

           “Matt, I don’t understand.”

           “And I thought I’d never have to see her again. Thought I left her forever when the nuns took her away at St. Agnes. Never thought I’d have to deal with it again.”

           “Deal with what, Matt?” Foggy could guess, could feel the anger for his best friend welling up in his chest, but he didn’t want to put the words in Matt’s mouth.

            “My daughter.”


End file.
